Shapewear Shenanigans

My dad sends me (and others) articles that he finds in the Wall Street Journal or New York Times that I (we) might find interesting. Sometimes something on the state of education or college admissions; more recently articles on the long-term effects of pacifiers and Baby Einstein videos. I appreciate it because, honestly, it keeps me from having to scan the newspaper everyday.

Today he sent me an article on "Shapewear" - undergarments like Spanx that you put on to suck-in-all-the-fat and make you appear slimmer (or at the very least, significantly less comfortable). The article was about the challenges of these undergarments. You can read the whole thing here.

Here's the opening paragraph:
"Before Jessica Kraus put on a tight-fitting frock one recent evening, she wriggled into a $76 piece of flesh-toned underwear that extended from the bottom of her bra to mid-thigh. She felt confident and svelte as she left her apartment to meet friends for cocktails."

Ok - so far - pretty normal. I myself will attest that I have slipped on a pair of Spanx with many a dress so as to feel "confident and svelte," or as I like to think, "less like a cow." The article continues:

"Then a few hours later, the 25-year-old Boston event planner was faced with what she says was a 'horrific situation.' As she was embracing a man she had met that night, Ms. Kraus got to thinking about what lurked beneath her sleek exterior. 'There's no graceful way of taking the thing off.' she says."

Let's review: you are out to cocktails with friends. You meet a guy for the first time. You are "embracing" him (which I always thought meant to hug someone, but I've never taken off my underwear to do that . . . so clearly I've been mistaken.) And your biggest concern is not "who the hell is this guy that I just met?" or "I wonder if he has been recently tested for chlamydia?"

No, your biggest concern is "How horrific! How will I ever gracefully take off my Spanx?"

I suppose maybe I have been out of the "dating world" for too long . . . but if I were Ms. Kraus, (who I'm sure has been flooded with dating opportunities since it was published in the Wall Street Journal that she gets naked with strangers) I would have kept that little tidbit to myself.