The No-Staple List

There is only one dry cleaners between work and our house. For some reason, even though everything - from houses to groceries - is cheaper in Greenville, somehow dry cleaning has remained the sole exception. In addition to being incredibly costly, we quickly discovered that our dry cleaners STAPLES the dry cleaning tag into your clothes. This is fine for button downs, where they just slip the tag through a buttonhole and then staple the ends together. But they were literally stapling the tags into my pants and sweaters. Uncool. And one more thing I have to worry about when getting dressed in the morning.

I asked the dry cleaning ladies (who are surprisingly young and surprising white) what the story was with the garment-destroying staple tendencies. They explained that if I didn't want my clothing brutalized, they would just put my name on the "No-Staple List." Easy enough.

Or so I thought. Upon my most recent pick-up, I discovered the staples had returned. I kindly asked the lady what had happened: "Excuse me, I was actually added to the 'No-Staple List' several weeks ago". To which she responded, "When you drop off your clothes, you need to remind us that you are on the list."

Remind you that I'm on the list? Isn't that, essentially, THE FUNCTION OF THE LIST? So that I don't NEED to remind you each week to not decimate my clothing while I pay you $5.25 per garment? Humph.