Theory of Relativity

Don't worry about why I was actually reading the fine print for a half-priced offer on a South Carolina Concealed Weapons Certification Course. . . . instead, you should find this deeply disturbing:

The fine print reads in part . . .
". . . All courses conducted by instructors certified by South Carolina, Utah, and and NRA. A RELATIVELY CLEAN CRIMINAL HISTORY IS NEEDED. State and federal laws regulate who is allowed to to carry a concealed weapon . . . "

Relatively clean? Who exactly determines this qualification?
And "relative" to whom?
John Wayne Gacy?
Charles Manson?

I am very uncomfortable with this.

Dollhouse

My Papa found this dollhouse in his attic (it used to belong to cousins in the past - but there is debate about which ones . . . . ) My dad spent hours scrubbing it clean and set it up in their basement for Lola to play. She was instantly in love - putting the little people in her mouth and banging them against the roof to hear the noise. Thank you to Papa for passing this along, to my dad for getting it ready, and to Julie and Craig - for giving Lola playmates to enjoy it with.

What else is new?

Lola has cut an incisor on the upper right side (still doesn't have her front teeth up top - I think she is paying homage to the current vampire trend.) She waves - not really on cue or on demand - but she definitely does it. She is babbling all sorts of syllables - ba, da, ma, ga, etc. She loves fruit, oatmeal, YoBaby yogurt, Puffs, and Cherrios. She still eats paper. She LOVES keys . . . but not toy keys. Real keys. (And she's no sucker so don't try to fool her.) She enjoys bathtime, typically DIVES into bed at the end of the night, and loves Skyping with her grandparents, and her Great-Grammy and Big-Poppy. She is such a joy right now and we are having the time of our lives.

FuegoMundo

I won't be able to do this story justice . . .but I shall try.
One of Grandma Susie's favorite restaurants was FuegoMundo (located at the Prado off Roswell Rd. She would insist that you try it!) Grandma loved the food, she loved the owners (Masha and Udi), and she loved recommending it to others. The only catch was that Masha and Udi didn't have tostones on their menu (smashed and fried plantains, one of Grandma's favorite Cuban dishes). But when Grandma went to FuegoMundo, they made sure that the cook fried up a special order just for her.

Such was the impact that Grandma had on everyone that she met . . . Masha and Udi came to her funeral. And to ensure that everyone would continue to enjoy the tostones, even if Grandma couldn't be there to special order them, they put them right there on the menu. She would have gotten such a kick out of this:

Eight Months!

Three words: Baby. Track. Suit.

Lola in a Box

Dear Starbucks

To Whom it May Concern at Starbucks,
There is NOTHING less appetizing than those plastic breakfast sandwiches that you have displayed in the snack window. I would be about a thousand times more likely to purchase one of these sandwiches if I hadn't had a preview of the processed egg and bacon-related substance right there in front of me. There are no frying pans in your store. No toasters. No eggs. So the fact that you can whip up a bacon-egg-and-cheese-on-an-English-muffin is simultaneously miraculous and disturbing.

Very sincerely.